


Fortuitous (A Miraculous Gender Neutral Reader Insert)

by CurrantlyDoingThat



Series: Started on Wattpad [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Reader-Insert, Secret Identity, Superhero Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurrantlyDoingThat/pseuds/CurrantlyDoingThat
Summary: You wake up in school. It's not your school. It's  Collège Françoise Dupont. What will you do now?Watch as you fuck shit up and try to get back home."Is that an akuma?!"SMACK!"Not anymore."
Series: Started on Wattpad [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166696
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41





	1. Wake Up!!!

There's someone shaking you. You blink the sleep from your eyes. "Five more minutes mommy." you yawn.

"Glad to see you're still with us M(r/x/s). (L/n)." a woman says. You jump up in your seat and slam your head on the desk behind you. The sound of laughter surrounds you. You're in a classroom. It's a classroom you recognize, but not one you're supposed to be in. You recognize it from a show. All the people look like the show's 3-D, not anime, style. You look at your hands. They're animated too. "Now, what's the universal gravity constant?" she asks. It's Ms. Mendeliev. _Of all teachers, why her?_

"6.674×10−11" you answer.

"Glad to see someone's been paying attention in my class. Anyway, Newton's Law of Gravity says that the force between two masses..." she starts.

"Psst!" the person next to you says.

"What?" you ask.

"How'd you know the answer?"

"...the mass of the first object times the mass..."

"Not important."

"Yes it is!"

"...object divided by the distance between the two objects squared."

"You're the class dunce. You never get anything right!" she hisses at you. _That's...weird. You're actually pretty good at school. People come to you for help with school._

"Anything you would like to share with the class?" Ms. Mendeliev asks. She pauses and looks at the both of you. "You both get lunch detention."

"But it's not my fault! She called me dumb." you protest.

"You are dumb." she says. The class laughs."All of you are dumb, ignorant teenagers." That shuts them up. The bell rings and she says, "Dismissed. Except for you two. You stay." Then, she looks you in the eye. "Your attempt on the last test was horrendous. I'm not even going to grade it until you try to correct it." She tosses it on your desk and walks over to the girl 'psst'ing at you. You look at the test and are taken aback by how easy it is. You blaze through it and get up to turn it in. " _You're the class dunce. You never get anything right!"_ Wouldn't it be weird if you suddenly knew all the answers? _It's not like this is Natoru. No secret organization is suddenly going to come for me if I improve._ You hand it in and pull out your phone. You hide it under the desk and try to unlock it. _There's a fucking password. I don't even put a password on my own phone._ You type in number combinations and none of them work. You type in 123456 and it unlocks. _Dumbass._ You search up 'ladybug' and find pictures of the actual insect. _So I'm behind timeline wise. What am I gonna do now? I could let the show play out as it should. Orrrrrrr, I could abandon all common sense and be a hero like The Owl because there's no way I'm getting a miraculous. Obviously, I'd have to watch out for being akumatized and try to keep my identity on the dl._

Because you lack common sense, you plan to start working out and practicing parkour. You look through the texts and find you're being driven to a martial arts class after school. _That's one thing I don't have to start doing._ You put your phone away and pull out a notebook. It's last written date is months before the date on your phone. There are doodles in the margins that are better than anything you've ever drawn. _Can I... art now?_ You put your pencil to the paper and start sketching. It comes out exactly how you pictured it in your mind. _I'm that smartsy artsy student now. Yus._ You keep drawing until the bell rings and Ms. Mendeliev dismisses you.

You pretend to be getting your stuff together so the girl leaves first and leads you to your next class. You inconspicuously follow her to the next classroom. It's art. You sit next to a person you actually recognize. _Marc Anciel._ "H-hey, (Y/n)."

"Hi, Marc. What's up?" you reply. He recoils in shock. _Is that not how "(Y/n)" replies? Too late to fix it now._ "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Y-you n-never talk to me this much." he responds.

"I've decided to turn over a new leaf." you reply.

"In the middle of the school year?" he asks.

"Yes?" you say nervously. He looks like he wants to call you out on your bullshit, but decides not to. The art teacher, Mr. Artis, tells the class to make whatever feels right. That's a very free way of teaching. You pull out your notebook and continue to sketch. It feels good. You ignore the feeling of eyes on you.

"Nice sketch." Marc says after a long silence.

"Thanks." you reply. You sigh in relief when class ends. _That was so awkward._ You follow the class. Then, someone asks why you're still there. You make some vague excuse and walk out the front door. There's a car waiting for you. You step inside it.


	2. Pinch me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me cringing at my work and posting it anyway🤠

There's a girl sitting next to you and a man in the driver's seat. No one's said anything the entire ride. It's making you _really_ uncomfortable. _Should I say something?...I'm gonna say something._ "Sooooooo, how was your day?" you say. _How was your day? Could you be any more cliché?_ No one says anything. "I have amnesia and don't remember any of you."

"Must you persist in your inane thoughts." the girl says.

"My thoughts are intelligent, thank you very much." They both stare at you.

"I guess they really do have amnesia. They're usually a dimwit." the man says.

"How did amnesia turn this idiot into a functioning member of society?" the girl asks. The car returns to the pervasive silence. The man tells you to get out and come back to the spot in four hours. It's a dojo. You walk in and everyone assaults you with questions. You tell them you have amnesia and some of them don't believe you. You go through your fighting stances and find out you were a brown belt. The teacher says, "Good to see your amnesia hasn't affected your muscle memory." _I guess I'm still at that level. One less thing to worry about._ The class gets out and you still have about two hours left. You walk by a costume store and pause. _Why not get started on my 'miraculous' outfit?_ You walk in.

It's not just a store for costumes. There are comics, manga, anime, books, movies, and candy. _Is that a plushy?!?_ You're in heaven right now. You find the first part of your costume there. _Those boots are beautiful._ They're brown with two purple diamonds surrounded by pink and orange outlines. It has flaps of purple fabric on the top. You test the soles and find they have a strong grip. You look at the price tag. _That...makes sense._ It's expensive. You grab it anyway along with a face mask that covers your neck and another one that covers most of the top half of your face.

You look for a credit card in all of your pockets. You find a gift card for the store you're in along with it. You walk to the register and use the gift card. It covers everything. _How much is on this?!?_ You walk out of the store with your newly purchased items and into the next one. You buy jeans that stretch like jeggings and a reversible coat. You have to walk a few blocks down to get a logo printed on the back. It's the image of a helping hand. You return to the spot with ten minutes to kill.

When the man comes to pick you up, he asks, "What's all this trash?"

"You left me alone for five hours. What did you expect?" you reply. You get in the seat behind him. He stays silent as he drives you to a building. You head inside. _This must be my house._ You head inside a room that looks like it could be yours and find a computer. When you power it on, there's a guitar tutorial on. That's when you notice the guitar. You look through the dresser and find black fingerless gloves and a purple hoodie. _My super hero costume is complete._

You open up your window and hop out. _That's a two story drop! Shit!_ You roll and miraculously don't get injured. You start practicing parkour. You fall multiple times. Eventually, you get less worse. You go to bed bruised but happy.

"Wake up." a female voice says. You want to sleep, but drag yourself out of bed. You stuff your hero outfit into your satchel and get your clothes. You find the shower after much searching and brush your teeth with a toothbrush you think is yours. After your much need shower, you walk into the kitchen. There's the faint smell of breakfast, but none actually there. You pull out a box of cereal and start eating it straight from the box.

There's a piece of paper on the top of the fridge. You grab it and look. It's your schedule. Friday is circled. _Room B032- Pruitt, Alain- 8:45 AM. Wait...isn't it 8:30?_

You decide to walk calmly to school. _There's really no point in rushing now._

When you arrive, no one is there. You walk up the steps and into the building. You see Marc and approach him. "Hey. Did I miss Mr. Pruitt's class entirely?" you ask.

"Y-yeah. You did." he replies. "We have a free period now." _Fml._

"Thanks." You sit down next to him and sketch out Mayura. She may be on the wrong side, but she does it for love and her character design is _so good!_

"Is that an OC?" Marc asks after a while.

"Yes!" you say nervously. "My OC don't steal!"

"You've seen that meme?" he asks. _That's a meme here? What else is?_ Marc looks like he regrets ever life choice that led him here.

" _Marc,_ I am that meme." you say. He looks relieved. _His face is so expressive._ "If a car is a horseless carriage, is a motorcycle a horseless horse?"

"Did Fabio get into the drugs again?!?" he adds. Marc laughs and it's a nice sound. You want to make him laugh more. So you try to guess more memes.

"Pizza is BAE! I won't let you take it from me!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Oh how the turns have tabled."

"That moment when you find the perfect avocado in the supermarket."

"It ain't much, but it's honest work."

You keep at it until the bell rings.


	3. Lucid

Six months later, you're an established vigilante. You have a whole separate account for your alias. It took you awhile to figure out your name. You settled on Heureux. It means happy in French, but it also means helpful and fortunate and fortuitous and lucky.

There are no akumas yet, but there are a ton of criminals.

You type on your phone. ...and suggested the lamb.  
Someone types back. At least the waiter didn't suggest the mutton.  
Another user replies. ... nor the grapes.

You see someone trying to break into the building your sitting on. You pocket your phone and drop down onto them. "Did'ya forget your keys?" you ask.

"I think we both know I didn't." they say. Their voice is vaguely feminine. You can't tell because you're pushing their face into the concrete. You call 17 and leave them tied up for the police. _Oh. It was a girl._ You propel yourself onto the roof with your grappling hook and start running across the many rooftops of Paris. _I'll never get used to the feeling of running fast and free._

You make sure you're not being followed and slip inside your bedroom. You sleep until 10 the next day. _Thank god I have one class today._

Your phone buzzes and you tiredly pull the phone in front of your face. You have a ton more friend requests. _Why is being a vigilante so exhausting?_ As you tap accept on all of them, you wonder. _Why isn't there an accept all option?!?_ You internally groan and go to shower and do other bathroom stuff. You walk downstairs fully dressed and prepared for the day.

You walk into the bakery on the way to school and buy four croissants. One for you, two just in case you're tempted to eat Marc's, and one for Marc. You munch on one while you go to school.

When you get inside, you hand a croissant to Marc and stuff the remaining two into your mouth. He chuckles at the sight of you with your cheeks puffed up. "It's not funny!" you try to say. It comes out more like "ish na fu ee". You dryly swallow and cough. "I'm okay." You get another notification on your phone, because you forgot to put it on airplane mode. It's just an influx of messages. You briefly scan them.  
If anyone has information on this masked vigilante <image of you being badass> please contact the proper authorities  
Heureux is a hero!!! <image of change my mind meme>  
my big gay crush <image of a chibi you in costume>  
tbh Heureux could step on me and id say thank u  
 _What...you can't even see my face!_

Marc looks at your phone. "You're a fan of Heureux?" _Don't look at the profile picture!_  
 _Don't look at the profile picture!_ _Don't look at the profile picture!_ You pull the phone away and turn it off.

"I'm just interested in them. They show up out of nowhere and start beating up criminals?" you say.

"They don't beat up criminals. They tie criminals up for the police to take to jail." Marc defends.

"Wow, someone's a fan." you tease. "You gonna write X reader fanfiction with Heureux?" His silence speaks for itself. He avoids looking you in the eye. "You do! Don't worry, I too write trashy reader-inserts."

"Re-really? Can I see?" he asks. You pull up one of your works. He reads to himself.  
 _"When you reach the school, you stash your bike in some bushes and climb over the gates. You wait inside the room you asked to meet her. No one enters the hallway but her. When she walks in front of it, you open the door, yank her in and lock it. "My mom's a vampire hunter, my dad's retired and I'm training to become one." you say._ This is pretty good. Way better than mine."

"Let me read yours then." you reply. Before he can respond, Stoneheart barrels towards you both. You tackle him out of the way. "You okay Marc?"

"Y-yeah, what was that thing?" he asks.

"I dunno, but it's safe to say, school is cancelled." you say.

"All you care about is sleep." Marc deadpans.

"Not true! I care about food, too. Also you." you respond. He blushes and avoids your eyes again. You head to the bathroom and change into your Heureux clothes. When you walk out, Marc gapes at you. "Hey Marc. What up?"

"Y...you're Heureux." he gasps out.

"Yup. We'll talk later." You jump out of a nearby window and attach your grappling hook to the top of a building in the direction of Stoneheart. You swing through the city and follow the trail of destruction.

The police tell everyone to stand back. "Mommy, it's Heureux!" a child shouts. A car is flung into the air and, in a moment of sheer stupidity, you catch it and set it down. _I can't believe I just did that. I don't have any powers. Right?_ Thankfully, your mask covers your reaction.

"I'll try to minimize damage. You focus on evacuation." you tell the police as you swing away. You hear them begrudgingly start evacuating as you taunt Stoneheart. You lead him to the football stadium and barricade the exits. Ladybug and Chat Noir show up. Chat uses cataclysm and Ladybug uses her lucky charm. Stoneheart is defeated through a joint effort by the three of you. She's about to swing away when you say, "Can we do anything about the butterfly of darkness or...?"

"Oh, right!" she replies. "Time to de-evilize." She swings her yo-yo at the akuma. "Bye bye little butterfly." A white butterfly flutters out. She throws her lucky charm into the air and shouts, "Miraculous Ladybug!"

You rush back home and Marc is waiting by the front door. You change into pajamas and let him in. Neither of you say anything and you click on the tv. "Heureux was already well known, but the identities of the other two were a mystery. Thanks to this amateur footage, the Parisians now know the identities of their new heroes!" the news woman says.

"...So...you're Heureux." Marc states.

"...Yeah." you reply.

"Why?" he asks. _That's something I haven't thought about. Why did I decide to become a superhero?_ It takes you a while to come up with an answer.

"At first, it was on a whim. The day I got amnesia, I saw this thing happen. The more time I spent as Heureux, the more I wanted to be Heureux. I wanted to help. To prevent what happened today. It was actually worse than this. An army of rock golems wrecking Paris. I just couldn't let that happen. So, I'm kind of a superhero." you finish.

"Wow, this is, um, a lot..." Marc says.

"Are we okay? I did keep something big from you." you respond.

"Yeah. I won't tell anyone. It's just...I'm embarrassed on what I posted to Heureux's account." Marc replies.

"Aw, I think it's flattering that you write fanfiction about wittle 'ol me." you coo. _I never knew people could turn that red._


	4. (Un)pleasant Dreams

Marc leaves your house in a dazed state. _Did I...mess up? I couldn't've kept this from him at this point...Right? Gahhhhh! Why is this so hard?!?_ You go to sleep thinking that. You only manage to sleep for a half-hour before you have to go back to school. _I got five hours of sleep in the last three days. I hate my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeee!!!!_ You groan all the way to school.

"Out of the way! My Adrikins is about to come to school for the first time. He doesn't need the first thing he sees to be your pathetic self!" Chloe shrieks at you. Normally, you wouldn't even be near her but, you're so _tired_. You lean against a wall by the door and try to sleep. It doesn't work. You sigh and head toward the art room.

 _Didn't I come to school to do something? I'm too tired to think._ The art room is actually having a class for once. _This is the absolute worst!_ You lay down in the middle of the hallway and actually start to doze off. You wake up to someone tapping your arm. The first thing you see is a soft yellow blob. It's Adrien. _Fuck, it's Adrien._ "Are you okay?" he asks. _Of course, he does._

"Fine. Y-. I'm fine." you stutter. _Stupid pretty people._ You push yourself up. "I haven't seen you before."

"I'm new."

"Hi, new, I'm (Y/n)," you say and hold out a hand. He laughs and _fuck it, I'm screwed._ He takes your hand and shakes it.

"Eye see what ewe did there! I'm Adrien," he replies and you have the sneaking suspicion there was a bad pun in there.

"Ice to meat you Adrien." you counter. You look at your phone and realize you are so late. "I have to get to Ms. Bustier's before she makes good on her promise of detention. We should hang out sometime." _No! Why would you say that?!? I should run far far away from him!_

"I look forward to it," he replies and now you _can't_ avoid him. You walk into the classroom and slide into your seat next to Marc.

"M(r./x./s.) (L/n), how nice of you join us," she says.

"Yes, I was...napping, but now I'm awake," you respond. The bell rings and you pretend you don't hear her calling for you to stay after class. You rush out with the rest of the students and grab Marc. "Sorry for not showing up. I fell asleep in the hallway."

"I'm still in shock over what you told me yesterday," Marc says.

"I hope we can still be friends even after..." you trail off.

"Of course, we can! I won't let this change anything between us!" he says with uncharacteristic steel in his eyes.

"...thought they would make a cute couple. Why'd he have to reject them and put them in the dreaded friend zone?!?" Aurora shrieks bringing attention to her conversation with Mireille. _I wanna know but I'm really don't wanna ask._ You and Marc walk the halls.

"Do you have a secret hideout?"  
"No. I don't really need one."

"Any superpowers?"  
"None that I know of."

"Can I try on your costume?"  
"We're different sizes."

"Can you take me on your next patrol?"  
"It's too dangerous."

"How do you feel about the fanfics people write about you?"  
"Well...I write some of them, so I guess I can't judge."  
"Wha-What?!? Have I read any?"  
" _Heureux gets pushes themself up and groans. 'You're hurt,' you gasp. 'Nothing I can't handle,"Heureux replies. 'Now, let's get you home.' You hold onto Heureux tightly as wind whips past the both of you. You're home before you know it. 'Thanks for saving me,' you say blushing. There's a finger tipping your chin upward and you feel-_ "  
"Oh my gosh! I have! How are you not embarrassed?"

Your conversation is cut short when someone bumps into you. _Fuck it's Adrien!_ "Hey han-. Adrien! How are you?" you stutter. _I'm a fucking cliché now._

He smiles at you and says, "I'm good. Are you okay?" _Why's he asking?...Oh he bumped into me. Stop thinking and answer him!_

"I'm fine." you say and **nothing else**.

"I was worried you might fall asleep again." he says with concealed mirth in his eyes. _He's mocking me!_

"I just had sleeping problems." you defend. _The problem is I wasn't sleeping._ "I just need to sleep."

"I hope you get some." _In the proper place_ is unsaid, but heard all the same. You wave goodbye to Adrien. When he goes around a corner, you bump into a wall. _This wouldn't be happening if it wasn't Adrien. Fuck._

"So...Adrien...huh." Marc says. _I've done something wrong and I don't know what!_

"He just...makes horrible puns and has a pretty smile. It's just a crush. It'll go away." you reply.

"...You're not even gonna try?" Marc asks.

"Nope." you reply. "It...wouldn't work out anyway." _Why is it Adrien?!?_ "I have to go to my fighting class. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye. H-have a good day!" Marc stutters out. He looks determined for some reason. Maybe you gave him an idea for another fanfic.

By the time you get home from your fighting class, you want to collapse. You're wet and miserable. You spent an extended amount of time with your "family". You open up Heureux's account and decide to answer some questions.

_Do you have superpowers?_

**_I'm not super anything. TT^TT_ **

_Can you come to my daughter's birthday party? It would make her day._

**_It depends on when and where._ **

_What do you look like without your mask?_

**_< insert dark room with faint silhouette> Am I pretty? _**🤣

_Dude. What if Heureux wears a mask because their face is too great to be viewed by mere mortals?_

**_I wear it bc I'm butt ugly underneath. Like Deadpool._ **

_Hold up. Deadpool, a fictional character, has a COPY'd account in real life, but not one in universe. Does this mea_

_elongatedmusket38 was silenced. He was onto something._

_Has anyone considered the mask is to hide Heureux's identity?_

_Blasphemy from the ones who silenced elongatedmusket38 they believe in the moon landings_

_you believe in the moon?_

Looking at your feed always makes you feel better. Who'd've guessed you would be internet famous?


	5. Somnolence

You swing into school halfway into the school day. You quickly change into your regular clothes and catch up with Marc. He's scribbling in his notebook under the stairs.

"Hey Marc." you say from behind him. He jumps in surprise and slams the book shut. He turns to face you.

"H-hey...your grappling hook is sticking out." he replies. You yelp and stuff it further into your bag.

"Thanks, that would've been a disaster." you say. "How are you?"

"I'm f-fine...why are you asking?" he asks.

"I just feel like we've been focusing too much on me for the past few days." you explain.

"Well, you're a," he pauses and looks around. He lowers his voice to a whisper. "Superhero. Your life will always have more stuff going on than mine."

"That doesn't mean you can't tell me about stuff in yours. I'll always be there to listen if you need me." you reply. He blushes and looks away. "What are friends for?"

"Right. Friends." he responds. Marc avoids you for the rest of the day. _Did I push him too much too quickly? When does friendship become best friendship? I must've messed up again._ You skip your second to last period and wander the school.

You bump into _Adrien_ again. "Sorry! Are you okay?" he asks.

"You're fine. I mean-! I'm fine!" you stutter. _I hate having a crush!_

"Well, it looks like you're feline fine. It's gouda to sea you again." he purrs. _How was his identity ever a secret?_

"It's ice to meat again." you reply. _That's the same thing I said last time!_ He snorts and- _Oh god, why is he so adorable?_

"Y'know, you look familiar. Have I seen you before coming to school?" he asks.

"Maybe? I have amnesia, so I don't know." you reply.

"Wow, I'm so sorry." he says and you fall in love with him a little bit more. _He's so pure._

"Don't be, It's not your fault." you reply trying to force your blush down.

"Is your last name (L/n)?" he asks.

"How'd you know?" you ask.

"Your father is the best graphic designer in all of France. He works with my father a lot." Adrien answers.

"Small world." you respond. You see Marc from the corner of your eye and run after him. "I have to catch up with Marc. Bye!" You run and try to get his attention. "Marc! Wait for me!" You guess he didn't hear you because he leaves the school. You stay in the art room instead of going to your martial arts class. You start to draw your ocs, because you can't draw anything but people. You get so into it that you don't realize when someone approaches you.

"Wow, that's really good." a voice says. You jump in your seat and bump your head on their chin.

You turn around and say, "I'm so sorry!" They're groaning and holding their chin.

"Ishokay. I shcared oo." they say. It's Marinette.

"Do you need to see the nurse?" you ask.

"No it's fine." she replies wincing.

"If you're sure..." you trail off.

"Yeah, I am." she affirms and then squints. "I don't mean to pry, but don't you usually hang out with..."

"It's okay. I guess he had something really important to do after school." you reply.

"But you haven't seen him all day." she responds.

"He's probably just been busy." you reassure. She inhales and smiles at you.

"Of course, that has to be it." she replies. "What are you drawing?"

"A made up character. They can control temperature, it's not a very impressive superpower. Nothing like Ladybug and Chat Noir." you answer.

"You should give them a name!" she says. _Is she sweating?...Nah. Couldn't be._

"I'm not really good at naming things." you reply. _The fact that I lucked out with Heureux..._

"You could write down a list of names and I could let my class decide the name." she suggests and your soul rebels at the thought of an entire class of strangers seeing your ocs.

"No thanks. I'll just do one _anonymously_." you say. Your phone rings saving you from this conversation. You pick it up.

"Where are you?" your sister hisses.

"At school." you reply.

"You **idiot**! Classes ended an hour ago. We have been waiting outside for the better part of the hour. Get out here before we leave you." your 'sister' hisses.

"Sorry, I have to go. My dad's waiting outside. It was nice meeting you-." you say.

"Marinette." she cuts in.

"(Y/n)." you say as you walk out. You walk down the strangely empty hallways and out of school.

"You're meeting with the Agrestes. Don't screw this up. Befriending at least one will secure my position as head of graphic design." your dad says.

"That's...wrong. You can't just...make me make friends just so _you_ can gain something!" you reply.

"Of course I can. I'm your father." he says.

"You think that means anything! You're telling me to go against my morals so that you can get ahead. We'll see about me making friends, but if I do it's because I genuinely will to and not because you told me to." you tell him off. It feels good to do so. This family hoards love like a dragon with gold. It's really getting to you. Your dad sneers at you and continues to drive. Before you know it, you're at the Agreste mansion. You're all let in without issue.

"I brought my _child_ and daughter along with me. I hope that's okay." your dad says in a tone that says Gabriel should be okay with it.

Gabriel turns to you and asks, " You go to Collège Françoise Dupont?"

"Yeah. What of it?" you reply.

"Have you met my son, Adrien?" he asks.

"We've bumped into each other a few times." you reply. "Don't really share a class though." _Adrien and me sharing a class. He'd be pretty punny._ You look away and try to force your blush down. Gabriel considers you.

"Nathalie, tell Adrien a friend from school is here to see him." he says after a while. Nathalie walks up the stairs and leaves you in silence. You resist your urge to break the silence by saying something stupid. You post something stupid instead.

**_Would you rather punch a cactus or kick an updog?_ **

_What's a cactus?_   
_What's a cactus?_   
_What's a cactus?_

You snicker softly and log out. You realize where you are and hope no one heard that.

"(Y/n)?" Adrien says unsure.

"Hey Adrien." you say nervously. His face lights up. _Are those sparkles?_


	6. Parasomnias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: (a/g) stands for assigned gender. The gender you were assigned at birth
> 
> ...you know where this is going, right? (Misgendering😎)

"Adrien, this is (Y/n) (L/n). Child of Garrison (L/n). They will occasionally accompany you during your spare time." Gabriel tells Adrien. He turns. "Nathalie escort Garrison (L/n) and Miette (L/n) to my office. I will be there shortly." Nathalie leads your 'dad' and 'sister' down a hall.

"I guess we're hanging out earlier than expected." You say.

"I heard about your amnesia." Gabriel says. He doesn't have the tone people usually use when they say that. It's curious and skeptical without an ounce of pity.

"It makes things confusing someti-." you start.

"I heard it was an improvement." he replies. What. The rest of the words die in your throat. "Don't mess up." He walks away leaving you and Adrien alone.

"Well, that happened." you state.

"I have video games and anime?" Adrien tries.

"You have Undertale?" you ask.

"Of course!" Adrien replies as if he's offended you thought otherwise.

"Then, let's play!" you say with uncharacteristic determination. He leads you up the stairs and to his computer. He opens Undertale and you finally ask, "How do you play?". You turn away and hide your face, embarrassed it took this long for you to ask.

"You've...never played before?" he asks.

"I've never really had time to try it." you answer. All of my spare time went into Heureux-ing or sleeping. Adrien's waving at something and stops once he notices you looking at him.

"There was a fly." he insists. That was an obvious lie. Probably Plagg. "Anyway, let's play." The intro is pretty nice but that's as far as you get before Dark Cupid strikes. When Adrien says he's going to the bathroom, you take that as your cue to swing out of there as Heureux. It's not hard for you to find Chloe. You see Chat about to get hit by an arrow and react. You push him out of the way and get hit by the arrow instead. I don't feel any different.

"Was that supposed to do something? Cause it didn't!" you taunt. That was a stupid quip. He responds by shooting more arrows. You dodge them and catch up with Ladybug and Chat. They look shocked to see you and tense up.

"Heureux...how are you feeling?" Ladybug asks.

"Like nothing happened to me. That's weird, right?" you answer.

"Looks like Dark Cupid missed his mark." Chat adds miming an arrow being released.

"Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. Lucky Charm!" Ladybug says. She holds two shiny red candy apples on sticks.

"What are you gonna do with those milady?" Chat asks. Ladybug scans the environment and hands the candy apples to you.

"Heureux." Ladybug starts. I have a bad feeling about this. "It seems like you're immune to Dark Cupid's arrows-."

"It could've been a bad arrow or, or performance anxiety." you try and mentally facepalm. Performance anxiety? Really (Y/n)?

"It worked perfectly fine when he hit other people. Anyways, here's the plan..." Ladybug explains.

You sigh. I hope this works. This isn't anything like the actual episode. I guess the **two** candy apples should've tipped me off. You see Chloe on the ground. "Hey Dark Dork! Come and get me!" you shout.

"Didn't I hit you already?!?" he asks with anger in his tone.

"Did you? It felt like a small breeze." you reply feigning nonchalance.

He pulls out an arrow pulsing with dark energy and all you can think is This definitely was not in the fucking show. You use your grappling hook to pull yourself away from that attack and throw a candy apple at him. He moves to dodge and it gets caught on one of his wings. He tries to pull it off and yelps when it doesn't come off. He pulls out another arrow and you throw the other apple at the hand on the bow.

Ladybug and Chat Noir drop down from the rooftop nearby and onto Dark Cupid. There's a shout of "Cataclysm!" and in a few short seconds Paris is restored to its former glory. "Pound it!" they both say. Ladybug's miraculous beeps and she swings her yo-yo upwards.

"Wait! Ladybug! I gotta tell you something!" Chat yells.

"I think you should wait until next time." you interrupt. "Three, two, one." Right after the words leave your lips, Chat's miraculous beeps.

Ladybug laughs nervously and says, "We're about to turn into pumpkins, and personally, I'd rather not see that." They swing off in opposite directions and you're about to leave your eyes fall on Kim. You're walking towards him before you can form a conscious thought.

"Heureux?" he says confused.

"Hey, Kim, right? Are you okay?" you ask. "After all that?" You gesture wildly.

"Ye-yeah. I'm fine."

"You got a phone on you?"

"Yeah?" He hands you the phone. You type what you need to on it.

"Here's my contact info just in case you change your mind." You are made aware of sirens and swing away. "Happy Valentines Day!"

You hurriedly swing across the city and into one of the Agreste mansion windows after making sure no ones' in the room. You shove your costume into your messenger bag and walk towards Adrien's room. You bump into him on your way there. "Hey, you're out of the bathroom. Funny story, I was waiting for you to come back because I didn't wanna play without you and then I needed to use the bathroom but you were in there so I was looking for another one but I got lost." you word vomit before he can get a word in.

"...oh. You wanna play now?" he asks.

"Of course! I need to find out what happens after the player falls down." you answer. You walk back to his room and start playing. By the end of the ruins you decide something important: you **hate** Flowey.

"I hope I can fight Flowey again so I can kill him!" you rant. Adrien has an uncomfortably smug smile on his face. "What?"

"Nothing~" he replies in a sing songy voice. That obviously means something. You manage to defeat Toriel without killing her which is good until Flowey mocks you for not sparing the other monsters. "Well fuck you Flowey. You're next!"

You've just completed the final puzzle by Papyrus when Nathalie tells you it's time to go. "Let's do this again some time." you say. I'm proud of me. I haven't stuttered or embarrassed myself once.

"I'd like that." he says with a smile. The sun's too bright. You blush and your good mood lasts until you get in the car.

"Did you befriend the younger Agreste?" is the first thing your dad asks when you get in.

"Why is that any of your business?" is your reply.

"So you did. We'll have to find some way to get you in his class."

"What! No! I have friends in my class and that's the only time I get to see them."

"What friends? That Anciel boy? I've been looking for a way to cut him out of your life anyway. He's a bad influence on you."

"Marc is **not** -!"

Your sister cuts in, "He convinced you that you're not a (a/g). That you're a 'they'."

"There are only two genders." your dad continues. You pull out your phone and post something to calm down.  
 **Just got hit by yet another there only two genders speech. Fools, there is only one gender _______**  
 _It's nerf or nothing_  
 _It was me Dio!_  
 _The human gender_  
 _We have to share_  
 _It's mine_


	7. Fatigue

_He can't do this, right? Of course, he can! He fucking did!_

"It seems the severity of this situation has finally sunk in." he says from the driver's seat.

"You-!"

"Before you say anything, consider the consequences your words may have."

"Fine." you grit your teeth and glare at the back of his head.

"Good. Now put a smile on your face. You're meeting with the Agreste boy." _Again?_ You force yourself to calm down. _Adrien didn't do anything to deserve my bad mood. Adrien's perfect._ You violently shake your head back and forth. _In a totally platonic way of course because Adrinette is fate. They really are perfect for each other. The creator of the show said so. I should give their relationship a little push. In an unobtrusive way..._

"Is this better?" you say through clenched teeth.

"I see you don't really care about-."

"No!" you shout desperation apparent in your voice. "I didn't-!"

"This is your last chance." _If I screw up, it's Marc's entire life on the line._ You sit in silence for the rest of the ride. All you can think about is how you can get out of this. You come up short. There aren't any ideas. Just a steady stream of _fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck._

"Hi (Y/n)!" Adrien chirps. _When did I get here? Did I disassociate? I'm way too stressed out for this._

"Hey Adrien." you reply but it lacks the pep you usually put into greeting friends. He either doesn't notice or ignores it in favor of dragging you in front of his computer.

"You were about to fight Papyrus." he says opening the game.

"Do I really have to? He's so...himself-y." you protest. You maintain that mindset until he turns your soul blue. "Nonononono! C'mon jump! Whyyyy!" you groan. The game over screen mocks you. "That's it! I'm gonna hurt him!"

"You're not...killing him, right?"

"Of course, not! I'm just gonna bring his HP down. I could never kill Papyrus!"

A few minutes later...

"Nooooooooo!!!!" you wail. You killed Papyrus. _Time to reload._ You redo the fight and spare Papyrus. "How can I kill more monsters when I just spared one? It'd be unfair...but I need xp."

"You can do it without leveling up. I did." And _of course_ Adrien would spare everyone in a game where he could. _He's just perfect that way._

"No more killing monsters then." you decide and make your way through the waterfall area.

"Your father is waiting outside."Nathalie announces as she walks in the room. _Maybe that shitbag sperm donor will stop being an asshole...Yeah right. I have a better chance of dating Adrien and he's head over heels for Ladybug._ Suddenly, your thoughts become suffocating. You don't even notice the akuma until Adrien points it out.

"Is that an akuma?" he asks sounding alarmed. _I have had it. I am not getting akumatized to add the cherry on top of this shit show of a day._ You raise your hand  
SMACK!  
and bring it down on the akuma.

"Not anymore." you reply. _I've run out of fucks to give at this point. Wish I just do that to solve all of my problems._ A dark wing twitches at the thought. "I'll see you in school Adrien." you say as you walk out. The time it takes for you to get to the car is far too short. You sit down and close the door.

"How was your visit?" your "dad" asks.

"Uneventful." you lie through your teeth. "Played video games." Telling him you saw an akuma feels like giving him ammunition for some reason.

"You could try harder to ingratiate-." You stop listening to him. You scroll through your feed and his voice fades into the background.

**Powers: Ladybug or Chat Noir**

_Is that really a question? I don't need Chat's powers to destroy everything I touch._   
_Ladybug_   
_Ladynoir_   
_Ladybug_   
_Chat Noir_   
_Give Chat Noir some love_   
_Press F to support Ladybug's sidekick_   
_F_   
_F_   
_f_   
_F-mega_   
_Press F to support Chat Noir's tagalong_   
_F_   
_f_   
_F_   
_FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF_   
_Why is no one talking about Heureux?_   
_No powers_   
_didn't they lift that car?_   
_that was a glitch in the simulation. i watched them struggle to carry a stack of books_   
_WHAT?_   
_i was struggling to carry it and they offered to help_   
_pics or it didn't happen_   
_< image of you crab walking with a stack of books>_   
_..._   
_This is the new meme format_

You stare at your feed. _They really gave the both of them the Boruto's dad treatment._ It's ridiculous but that brings a smile to your face. "I hope you understand the weight of my words." he says. _And there it goes._

"I've never taken anything more seriously in my life." you with a deadpan.

"Good." _Does he not comprehend sarcasm or...?_

You try not to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Regardless, I implore you to think of how you will permanently ingratiate yourself to the Agreste boy. For the sake of your friend Marc."  
 _Of course, he always has to ruin everything._

The second he parks you dash into the house and run up the stairs leading to your room.

"Understood." you reply through grit teeth. You see him smirk in the mirror and forget to breathe for a second. It's a tense car ride to the house.

The second you get inside your room, you throw yourself onto the bed and aggressively sigh. _I thought I was taking time off from Heureux to prevent stress!_ You want to go out but you know you can't. _I almost got akumatized. I can't make Chat and Ladybug deal with that._

You turn over and look out your window. For a second, you almost expect something to happen. _That's stupid. Nothings supposed to happen tonight._ You let your eyes slip shut.

"Wake up. Father said you need to make a good impression on your new classmates." your sister says. Your eyes crack open on her bored face hovering above yours.

"Aaaah!" you scream and fall off the bed. "Why?!?"

"Get up. You have a class with Bustier in 30 minutes. Your new schedule is in your bag." Then, she walks out. You throw on a random hoodie and pants and rush to brush your teeth. _I'm running out of time!_ Jumping down a flight of stairs with the strap of your bag nearly choking you, you remember food. You grab a protein shake and two slices of brioche before heading out. The streets are emptier than when you usually leave so it's a smooth run. You don't have the time to admire it though.

When you face the school doors, you shove the last piece of bread into your mouth and dash in the building. You reach into your messenger bag and pull out your schedule. _8:15 Bustier, Caline_ You yank the door open and ask, "Is this the right class?"

"M(r/x/s) (L/n), you're early. Some of the other students haven't arrived yet. I'll assign a seat when they do." Ms. Bustier replies. You watch students trail in with curious glances at you. You wave at Adrien and Nathaniel when they come in. _Have I known him long enough to warrant a wave?_ _He waved back, so I guess so._

"Good morning everyone! As you may have noticed, we have a new student. (Y/n), introduce yourself." _She dropped the "M(r/x/s) (L/n)". Is it because I'll be seeing her more often?_

"Uh...hi! I'm (Y/n). I like...video games and drawing." you reply and wonder why it came out like that. _I'm not normally this bad at words._ _Must be the stress._

"You can sit next to Ivan. Ivan raise your hand." He raises his hand and you slide into the seat next to him.

"Hey Ivan, nice to meet you." you say holding out a hand.

He takes it and shakes. "Nice to meet you, too." You both face forward when Ms. Bustier starts talking. It's about something you haven't went over, so you zone out. You don't even realize when Marinette and Adrien leave the room.

"...very pleased with how you all did on your last assignment. Some of you have really stepped up, and I do appreciate it. Now it's time to move on to our next assignment." You snap out of your trance and start listening to what she's saying. "Is Marinette still in the girls' room?" _She's probably Ladybug-ing it up right now._

"Uh, I don't know, miss." Alya replies.

"Tonight I want you all to read chapter three of the breathtaking France, the First Thousand Years. Then, answer this simple questionnaire." Ms. Bustier announces as she hands out the questionnaires. "See to it that Marinette receives her homework." Everyone trickles out of the classroom.


	8. Restlessness

You’re about to take a nap when you realize what akuma Ladybug and Chat will be facing tomorrow. _ They can handle Lady Wifi on their own, right?  _ You groan and roll over.  _ That’s a tomorrow problem.  _ You close your eyes but can’t sleep.You sit up and open up your laptop and open an encrypted file titled C🦋&🦚B4⏳.

_ I already know who Hawkmoth and Mayura are but they could easily akumatize themselves and absolve themselves of suspicion. I need damning evidence. As fun as it is playing superhero, it’s best that I take down the guy who preys on vulnerable people asap. What can I do?  _ You spend the rest of the night reviewing all akuma footage available.

You wake up hunched over your keyboard and come to a realization. “I feel so fucking dumb.” you mutter. Kwamis can’t be caught on camera, but you know what can and has been caught on camera? The akumas. There’s no shortage of those corrupted butterflies on camera.  _ So, if I set up cameras I can prove where the akumas come from and if he tries to akumatize himself when he’s at home, he’ll end up incriminating himself because there’d be no footage of the akuma leaving his mansion. I just have to be patient. _

“(Y/n), if you’re late father won’t be pleased.” your sister announces.  _ That’s...nice of her to warn me. _

“Thanks.” you reply unsure of her motives. You close your bedroom door and change your clothes. You pick up the messenger bag with your costume hidden in it.  _ I miss when Marc would tell me my grappling hook was sticking out. I can never find him anymore.  _ You eat an actual breakfast for once before heading to school.  _ It’s a good thing study hall was optional today. _

You walk into the locker room and see Alya whispering to Nino.  _ Let’s try to prevent this. _ “Hey, what are we talking about?”

“I’m about to prove Chloe is Ladybug!” Alya yell-whispers. It’s too funny. You can’t help but laugh. She gives you a withering look.

“I’m sorry but Chloe? Really? You couldn’t pick a more accurate guess?” you defend. “Thanks for the laugh though.”

“There she is! Nino, go! And do mess up your lines!” Alya says as she pushes Nino. He slams against the lockers hard enough to make you wince.  _ Time to watch her crash and burn. _

You suffer through Nino’s cringeworthy attempt at a diversion while Alya tries to take pictures of Chloe’s locker. Sabrina turns and says, “Uh... Chloe! Alya's looking in your locker!” Alya tries to deny it but Kim swipes her phone and shows the photos. They all walk to the principal's office, leaving the rest of you.

“Well, that was painful to watch...what’s our first class? I left my schedule at home.”

“I can’t believe Chloe took this to the principal.” Nino laments.

“Really? This is Chloe, and even I’d be concerned if someone took a picture of my locker.”

“I...didn’t think of it that way.”

“I get it. Chloe’s a terrible person and she’s definitely gonna make things worse than they need to be.” Since no one told you what your next class is, you awkwardly follow Nino to Ms. Bustier’s classroom.

“Hey Adrien!” you greet him as you step into the classroom.

“Hey (Y/n), are you okay? After what happened-?” he asks.

“I’m fine. I was just in a bad mood, but I have a great feeling about today.” you end on a cheerful note.

“Are you sure?”

You reach to grab his shoulders but stop when your arms raise.  _ Maybe he doesn’t want to be touched.  _ “100% dude.” You give a thumbs up and sit down. You greet Ivan and zone out until Marinette’s loud, “WHAT?!” You bang your head on the desk and pretend you were paying attention all along. Then Alya’s face is projected across the wall.

“I'm Lady Wifi, revealer of the truth! For our first exposé, your principal would like to share a little tidbit with you. So, Mr. Damocles, is it true you wrongly suspended a student named Alya today?” Alya asks as she maintains eye contact with the screen.

“Uh...yes, it is.” he answers ashamedly.

“So, you were biased? Unfair? Totally unjust?!”

“Yes, I was.”

“For my next scoop, I'll be taking you to meet the girl who's been hiding behind the Ladybug mask!” she says as she wipes a stop icon onto Mr. Damocles. “Stay connected!” The projection winks off.

Ms. Bustier speaks up, “Everyone, for your own safety, go directly home right now! And don't forget to read chapters four and five!”  _ Because just because a supervillain’s on the prowl doesn’t mean you can skip out on the school work. _ Instead of going home, you change into your Heureux costume and stash your stuff on a rooftop.  _ Le Grand Paris, here I come. _

You swing up onto Chloe’s balcony. “You’re in danger. Leave your phone.”

“And why should I listen to you?” You honestly aren’t prepared for that response.

“Because there’s an akuma targeting you?”

“I’m the best and can only be saved by the best. Obviously.”she answers with a roll of her eyes.  _ Why is she so difficult? _

“Well, I’m all you’ve got right now.”

“I’ll wait for Ladybug.”  _ She really sounds like those Royale High kids. ‘Gets captured but only Ladybug can save me’ _

“...Right. I’ll just be here when the akuma attacks you.” Chloe practices with a yoyo and power poses for hours. _ This is so...boring. _ You don’t dare pick up your phone though. You’re almost asleep when the phone rings. “Don’t answer that.”

“You don’t tell me what to do!” Chloe says as she hits answer. You kick the phone out of her hand and dodge the flying pause icon Alya flings at you. You grab Chloe and swing out of the building, only to swing back in two floors lower.

“Will you listen to me this time when I tell you to hide?” Chloe nods back at you and you open the door to the staircase only to barely dodge a pause icon. You jump down the center of the stairs and get to the bottom before Chat and Ladybug. “Hi!” you say when they reach the bottom.

“Heureux! I thought you were taking a few days off!” Chat states.

“Catnaps aren’t my style. You guys got a plan?” you reply.

“I was hoping if we lured her to the basement, we could take her out.” Ladybug adds.

“Because of the WiFi, right?” you ask.

“Exactly.”

“So Chat just cataclysms the cell phone tower and she won’t be able to use her powers.”

“...That could work.” Chat says after a long pause. You use your grappling hook to pull yourself up and see all the doors locked except for the highest one.

“I think she’s setting a trap. All the doors are locked except this one. Chat and Ladybug propel themselves upwards using their respective weapons.

“On the count of three. One,” Ladybug and Chat brace themselves for the impending attack. “Two” Chat draws his leg back. “Three!” The door bursts open revealing a lit dining room.

“ Ahhh... So much for the ambush.” Chat says.

“Follow me. Where is she hiding? And what's up with all these phones?”

“When I was waiting for the akuma, she popped out of-” you interrupt yourself to dodge a pause icon.”-Chloe’s phone!” Ladybug grabs Lady Wifi with her yoyo, but she disappears, re-appearing above one phone after another.

“Ha! You can’t get me!” she shouts. You can’t resist responding with a shitty pun.

“You sure you didn’t gigabyte more than you can chew?” you joke as you dodge the icon she throws your way. While she does that, Ladybug breaks all the phones. Once Lady Wifi notices, she runs into the kitchen, Ladybug close behind. The doors slam shut before you or Chat can slip in.

“No, no, no... Hold on in there, Ladybug!” Chat checks his baton for a way in. “Of course! The service elevator! Come on, Heureux!”  _ I’m so glad this is bigger on the inside or this would’ve been awkward. _

“I didn’t know your staff could do that.” you lie.

“There’s a lot you don’t know ameowt me!” Chat replies.  _ This feels like flirting. But it can’t be flirting. Chat likes Ladybug. I’m not Ladybug. _

“I guess that’s purrmissible.” you reply because now is not the time to deal with your feelings. The service door opens and the both of you jump out.

“You're out of minutes, Lady Wifi!” Chat declares as he leans on his staff.

“Oh, how romantic. Tomcat's come to save his love bug.” Lady Wifi mocks.

“I am not his love bug!” Ladybug protests.

“We'll come back to that later.”  _ Just tear my heart out.  _ Lady Wifi attacks knocking you and Chat into the freezer.

“I really wish I kept my acid on me.”

“Don’t turn around!” Chat says.

“Please tell me you didn't say that because your ring came off.” you say knowing the answer.

“I’ll tell them for you.”

“Plagg! Can you just help me find the ring?”

“You want a sweater or something?”

“Y-y-yes p-p-p-please!” You take off your outer jacket and hand it to him while staring at the door.  _ Can’t believe I’m doing this when I already know it’s Adrien. _

After a while, he hands you back the sweater and says, “Plagg! Claws out!”

“Can I look now?” You don’t get an answer because the freezer door swings open and Chat dashes out.

“Are you guys okay?” Ladybug asks.

“We’re feline fine m’lady.” Chat replies with a wink.

“Appurrantly, choosing two sweaters was a good design decision.” you add.

“Glad to see you two are okay.” Ladybug responds as her earrings beep.

“You used your Lucky Charm...there's not much time left.” Chat observes.

“I’m assuming that trick won’t work again?” you ask.

“Microwave’s busted.” Ladybug answers and then pulls you and Chat close. “We’re gonna go with Heureux’s plan.” she whispers. “You two will take the service elevator up and destroy the wifi antenna. When she’s disconnected, she’ll be easy to take care of.” Chat nods and covers the camera icon and the two of you hop in the service elevator. You close the door and traveling upwards.

“Why didn’t you turn around in the freezer?” Chat asks.

“You...didn’t want me to? You told me not to turn around.” you reply.  _ Did he want me to find out he’s Adrien? _

“That’s it?”

“I know you’d do the same if I asked.” you reply with the utmost confidence in what you’re saying. “Looks like this is our stop.” The both of you hop out and dash into the stairwell. You kick open the door and run out. “Would you like to do the honors?”

“It would be my pleasure. Cataclysm!” he replies and lunges for the antenna but hesitates when it starts to spark.

“Nice idea, kitty cat, but I'm not gonna let you cut me off so easily!” Lady Wifi shouts swiping more pause icons at the both of you.

“I’ll distract her. You get the wifi.” you tell Chat.

“Got it!” You turn your attention to Lady Wifi.

“Hey, Wifi! You want a scoop. I’ll give you one. My mask isn’t magic. If you can catch me, you can unmask me.”

“Oh? In that case,” she projects her image. “Prepare to be unmasked!” She starts swiping furiously and it takes everything you have to dodge. Then, you slip.  _ Shit!  _ She pauses you mid-fall and stalks towards you. “Huh?” The video cuts off and you start to fall. You manage to swing yourself back up with your trusty grappling hook and see Chat slammed to the floor by Alya. Ladybug yoyo’s the phone out of Alya’s hand and smashes it.

“No more evildoing for you, little akuma. Time to de-evilize!” Ladybug shouts unnecessarily.  _ One of these days, i’ll ask her to try it without saying it.  _ After Ladybug turns everything back to normal, Alya runs up to the three of you.

“Heureux! And Ladybug! Wow! And Cat Noir! Can I get a quick interview? Just let me grab my phone!” Alya says and she turns to look for it.

“You guys gotta go. I’ll take it from here.” you tell them.

“Thanks Heureux!”

“Don’t sweat it.” you turn and face Alya.

“Sorry, they had to go, but I’m here. You wanna take the fun way down?”

“Traveling by grappling hook? With Heureux?! Of course!” You grab Alya and swing downwards. She woops on the way down. When you land she asks ”Can I have a short interview?”

“Sure but it has to be short.” you reply.

After the interview, you swing home. You climb inside your room just in time for your father to open the door. “(Y/n), I’m glad you took the initiative to learn another language. Your tutor is waiting downstairs. He grabs you and there’s no choice but to go downstairs and play along.

“Your child shows promise. I’m sure-” the old guy says as soon as he sees your father.  _ Wait...It can’t be... _

“I accept. How much do you want?”  _ Damn. He really wants me gone. _

“Just teaching-.”  _ He’s the guardian! What’s he doing here? _

“I’ll pay 70€ per hour. You start now.”

“I-. Of course.” You’re standing on the other side of the door when you finally process everything.

“I never ordered a language tutor.” you say as you start walking with him.

“I’ve been observing you.” he starts.

“Well that isn’t alarming.” you interject.

“I have had the responsibility of guarding an item of importance and keeping it out of the wrong hands. But I am getting old, and the time has come for me to find a new guardian. I believe you could be that guardian.”

“...Right. Sounds like you have the wrong person.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a great guardian.” he smiles at you and lets you inside his shop.  _ Great. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm changing some things that I didn't like about the show. I'm completely omitting somethings that felt more like a bad wattpad fanfic than an actual show and drawing attention to some things I feel the show could do better. My excuse, it's my fanfiction, I can do what I want with it.


	9. Night Terror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an announcement to make. Chloe is my favorite character. Hate me if you must, she's complex character who also happens to be funny. She may be problematic but so are the main characters so😏

After defeating the Magician of Misfortune, you change out of your costume and start heading to school. Then you turn around because there’s no way you’re making it on time. _Class ends in five minutes. Even if I used my grappling hook, I wouldn’t make it in time._ You enter Fu’s shop and say hey to let him know you're there. “(Y/n), aren’t you supposed to be in school right now?” he asks.

“Well, y’see, I was way to late so I decided to skip.” you reply.

“Your education is just as important as your guardian training.” _It’s really not but okay._

“What am I even gonna guard?”

“All in due time. For now head to class!”

“Fine, but I’ll be back later.” You start walking to school as slow as humanly possible to drag out what you know is going to happen. You wait for him to call you back and step inside every store only to not buy anything. Fu calls you back. You run back to his shop and he shuts the door behind you.

“Heureux-”

“Who me? I could never be-.” you start to deny.

“I know. It’s why I chose you to be the next guardian of the miracle box.”

“What’s a-?” _I really wish I didn’t have to pretend I didn’t know things._

“You are aware of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous’? I am allowing you the chance to choose a miraculous for this one battle. You’ll return it when the akuma is dealt with.”

“Are...are you really trusting me with this? What if I run off with it and don’t return it?”

“You’re going to be the next guardian. Trust your judgement.” You stare at the open miracle box and your hand hovers over the bee miraculous. _That’d be too easy._ You can’t decide. None of the miraculous seem good enough.

“Eenie Meenie Mynie Mo…”

“Really?” he asks incredulously.

“You said trust my judgement. My judgement says there isn’t time to wait for me to stop being indecisive.”

“Fair point.” Your hand lands on the tiger miraculous. You pick it up and slide the panjas bracelet on.

“Hi! I’m Roaar, the kwami of domination. I guess you could say I’m an aristocat! My special abilities are my Shock and Awe. You can only use them each once though. Awe forces people to listen to you. Anyone who you face will be completely paralyzed once they hear it. Shock gives you a huge strength and speed boost! Oh! And you transform by saying, Roaar, take the throne! And to detransform, just say crown obtained.” Roaar says in an info dump.

“Alright. Roaar, take the throne!” One magical girl sequence later, you’re sneaking out of Fu’s shop. You wear an open sleeveless hoodie with tiger ears and a fake tail attached and a skintight tiger patterned bodysuit that also has no sleeves. Your trusty grappling hook is hanging off your waist and has also gained a reddish-purple tiger pattern. “Let’s not mess this up.”

You watch Marinette run into the shop and you take off towards the akuma. _Pont des Arts. I’m only a few minutes away._ After a few minutes of swinging around, you realize the bridge is further than you thought. You arrive in time to see the Mayor walking Princess Fragrance up to Prince Ali. “I can't wait for us to be together. Forever! Servants, love padlock, please.” she says in a sing-songy voice. Chat presents a box to reveal a padlock with an unhealthy amount of perfume coming off of it. “This will lock our love forever, my prince!”

“Hey. Don’t do that.” you say at the same time Ladybug knocks the padlock out of her hands.

“Why does everyone want to interfere with our love?! Servants! Seize their miraculous’!” Princess Fragrance screeches as she flies away with Prince Ali. Well, she tries.

“Shock and Awe!” you shout as you lunge for Princess Fragrance. A Lion King worthy roar wells up in your throat. Her body seizes up mid flight and she falls back onto the bridge. You walk up to her and take her perfume gun. “Ladybug, use your lucky charm.”

“Right. Lucky charm!” She gets some spotted item and you break the perfume gun. “No more evil doing for you, little akuma. Time to de-evilize!” She catches the akuma and then activates her miraculous ladybug ability. When everything reverts, she turns to you. “Thanks for the help but who are you?”

“No one special. This was a one time thing, too so...have a nice day.” you reply before swinging out of there. _Nopenopenopenope. Just return the miraculous and set up some more cameras. No need to think about the ramifications of a new miraculous being introduced this early on._

You detransform in an alleyway and head back to Fu’s shop. As you deposit the miraculous into the open box you ask, “Are you sure about this?...That this was the right thing to do?”

“You’re a capable person. You should stop doubting yourself.” he replies. “Did you become Heureux by doubting?”

“...No. Can you pass a message on to the Ladybug and Chat Noir? I want to talk to them as Heureux. I see a few potential problems that I want to nip in the bud.”

“I’ll make sure they get the message. When will you be meeting them?”

“I’ll be at the Eiffel Tower at 10.”

You walk out of the massage shop and start to walk home. _Alright, time to be responsible and shit._ You square your shoulders and set an alarm for 9:30. You go home normally and fall unconscious the second your head hits the pillow.

Your alarm blares in your ear and you groan. _Time to go._ You jump out of the window with your Heureux costume in your bag and quickly change on an abandoned rooftop. _Is no one up right now?_ You swing up to the Eiffel Tower with 10 minutes to spare.

Chat arrives first with “Heard you wanted to Chat. How’d you get my kwami to deliver the message?”

“I know someone who knows someone who knows someone.” you reply instead of giving an actual answer. “I’ll go into more detail when Ladybug gets here.”

“...So...you like jazz?” he awkwardly asks. You can’t help it. It’s just so...out there. You start laughing uncontrollably. You almost fall off before Chat catches you by your waist.

“Thanks! I’m sorry for laughing...I just-”

“It’s okay. You have a beautiful laugh.” _Why are you doing this to me? I know you like Ladybug._

“...Thanks? I personally think I sound like a dying horse but you do you.”

“Heureux, I always-”

“I’m here. How’d you get my kwami to pass a message?” Ladybug interrupts.

“I know someone who knows someone who knows someone. Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about some plans I made.”

“Plans?”

“After reviewing all the footage I could find on akuma attacks, I realized that akuma could be caught on camera. So I set up some cameras around the city to see if I could track where the akumas are coming from.”

“Wow, you really thought this through.” Ladybug comments.

“I just want people to be able to feel bad without becoming another one of Hawkmoth’s victims.” you reply. “I have a few suspects but I don’t wanna put suspicion on someone innocent. I’ll let you know when I have it narrowed down.”

“Is there anything else you have to tell us?”

“Oh, right! Chat stop flirting with Ladybug. She doesn’t like it and it’s making her uncomfortable.”

“But we’re-.” Something about his tone makes you want to soften your words.

“You’re partners. Never said you were romantic partners.”

“What else could we be?”

“Platonic life partners. Friends…” you trail off. “I have a question for the both of you: Do you understand the responsibilities you two have wielding the two most powerful miraculous?”

“Of course.”

“So you know you can’t leave Paris until Hawkmoth is defeated or unless he leaves Paris? You two cannot be akumatized under any circumstance. Also, I feel like you two don’t communicate enough. Let’s talk. Get to know each other without compromising our identities of course. It’ll be like those trust fall exercises except someone would actually catch me this time.”

“Woah! That’s a lot of information at once. Can we have some time to...take it in?”

“Yeah, I took a nap before this so I won’t be tired in scho- I mean stuff. I’m doing stuff tomorrow.” you mentally facepalm.

“Are-are you in lycée?” Chat asks.

“NoOoooOOoo. Not me.” you say unconvincingly. _I should just come clean at this point._ “How old did you think I was?”

“I thought you were an adult. You’re just...so responsible and put together.” Ladybug replies. _No I’m not._

“I feel like you two have a very different image of me than what I actually am.” _I’m not responsible. I’m a depressed teen avoiding their problems._

“So what are you like?” Ladybug asks.

“Oh, I almost forgot we need a schedule!” Ladybug and Chat Noir just stare at you. “Sorry, not ready to talk about me yet, but seriously, we’re gonna need a patrol schedule. Mostly to reassure Paris that its protectors are hard at work. Eventually there’ll be TV appearances, but that can wait until later.”

“TV appearances?”

“That’s in the far future.” _When does Prime Queen happen?_

“You’re avoiding the question. If you’re struggling with something, we can help you.” Ladybug brings it up again.

“Yes! I am.”

“So tell us.”

“That’s...I’ll tell you next time. Now about that schedule. I was thinking you both should patrol every other day. Are there any days you absolutely can’t show up? I’m thinking 11-3am. That’s the schedule I use when I patrol. I can give you a map of my usual routes.”

“Routes?”

“I was, still am a vigilante. Like a ripoff KnightOwl.”

“KnightOwl?”

“You’ve never heard of the heroes in New York? They don’t have secret identities there.”

“Aren’t they worried about people knowing?”

“I dunno.” _I’m more surprised that people can just have superpowers there._ “Anyways, let me show you both my patrol routes.” You pull out your Heureux phone and pull up your routes. “We’ll start with this one.” Chat and Ladybug lean over your phone as you describe the different types of roads you use. “In this area, it’s better to stick to the streets. They tend to have a lot of satellites and AC units. I ran into barbed wire once. Not a fun time.” They wince sympathetically.

“What’re the red dots?” Ladybug asks.

“Police hotspots.”

“What about the green ones?” Chat asks.

“Those are obligations. I’m showing up at a birthday party. Fleur and Florent. Twins.”

“Why are you showing up at a birthday party?” Ladybug asks confused.

“Three reasons: Their mom asked nicely. My schedule’s free. Free cake.”

“You do a lot of stuff for people, don’t you?” Chat asks.

“What’d’ya mean? C’mon, lemme show you the patrol routes.” You spend two hours familiarizing Ladybug and Chat Noir with your usual patrol routes. “That’s all I-.” You’re interrupted by a gunshot. You run to the source of the sound. _Not again._ You jump on top of the man and pull the gun out of his hands. You look at the other wounded man and tell him to call an ambulance.

“Heureux?! I thought you had your hands full with Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

“Awww. You know I _always_ have time for you.” you reply as you press your boot into his back. You pull out a pair of handcuffs and cuff him to the dumpster.

“Heureux, are you-? Woah.” Chat whistles. “You work fast.”

“You’re still babysitting? I’d like some alone time with you.” the guy handcuffed to a dumpster adds unhelpfully with a pained wink.

“Cute. Ladybug, Chat Noir, follow me.” you don’t say anything until you’re a good distance away from the scene.

“What was that about?” Ladybug asks.

“I like to be far away from the crime scene when the police show up.” you reply.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t-.”

“They would.” you cut her off. “You guys can go home now. See you next akuma attack!” and then you step backwards off the building and swing into an open window. You change into your civilian clothes and wait a few minutes before leaving the building. It’s a long walk home. You collapse into your bed face first.

“Did you hear about the new hero?” Alya asks in class the next day because _things going right, nah that’s for other people_.

“New hero?” Marinette asks as if she wasn’t there.

“Yeah girl! Some people are even saying they’re stronger than Ladybug.”

“Alya, do you know anything about Heureux?” Marinette asks. _Subtle._

  
“Heureux? I’m following them on COPY’d. You’d expect someone like that to be like KnightOwl but they’re more like Sparrow. They follow everyone back, actually. What’s with the sudden interest? You crushing on them?” _This is starting to sound private._ You leave the classroom and don’t say anything on your way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for the person who commented they prefer Marc. I'm never drawing him again solely because of his hair.


	10. Waking Interlude I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! This chapter isn't what you think it is ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) But you'll still read it, right?

“Turn the light off.” you groan as you pull your blanket over your head. “Seriously! Stop with the flashlight!”

“It’s not me!” your younger sibling yells back at you.

“Who is it then?!” you say as you pull the blanket off of your head to yell at them. The light is coming from your right. “What is that?!” A glowing white disk hovers right above your bed. Your mom finally appears to tell you to keep the noise down.

As you try to get up and distance yourself from it, a girl falls out. Everyone in the room edges away from the disk, leaving you to cautiously edge towards the girl. “(Y/n)! Get away from there!” It’s stupid, as in "I’m choosing death" stupid, but you ignore your mom and get closer.

The girl gets up and tries to go back into the disk. It’s like a solid wall and refuses her entry. She starts babbling in a foreign language that sounds European and looks kind of familiar. When she stares at you with bluebell eyes, you realize why. “Marinette?”

She stops freaking out and stares at you. “That is your name, right?”

“I-. Yes. How’d you know?”

“(Y/n), is she from the show?!” your sibling asks.

“I think so.” you get within touching distance and make sure you don’t get close to the disk.

“Show? I didn’t think it would air here!”

“Ladybug airs here.” Those words seal your fate. Marinette flails and knocks you into the disk. The white light envelopes you and spits you out on a Parisian street. Then it starts to rain. _Great._

You push yourself up and take your first step and immediately regret it. Something stabs into your socked foot. You lift your foot and notice a pair of earrings sticking out of your sock.

You rip them off and notice their significance. _That looks like someone else’s problem._ The screams you had been ignoring become more apparent as Tikki appears in a ball of light. “You’re not-? Where’s Marinette?”

“The akuma sent her to my dimension and sent me here. She can’t get back.” you reply.

“There’s no time! You have to be a temporary Ladybug until she gets back!”

“Can’t you find anyone better?!”

“If I did that, they might refuse to give the earrings back afterwards.”

“And I won’t?”

“You can’t take them with you when you leave.” Tikki replies.

“What if I don’t want to be Ladybug?”

“Then, you’ll never get home.”

“Fine. Tikki, spots on.” _I’m so glad I didn’t get the default outfit._ You’re wearing a black polka-dotted jacket with a red to orange ombre over a black bodysuit with a white circle on each side of your waist connected by a white line with a ladybug logo in the middle. Your feet have graduated from socks to black lined white boots and in your hand is a yoyo. _If she could’ve had this, why didn’t she? I swear to God, it’s always the fashion designers with the worst miraculous outfits._

You swing the yoyo towards a rooftop but it flops pathetically and hits the ground instead of hooking on anything. _Ah, I’m a failure._ You fling it again and again and again. “Fuck it. I’ll just walk.” You go half a block before swinging to yoyo in frustration. It ricochets off the wall and hits you in the face. “One more chance.” you tell yourself. This time it catches on the roof.

_What am I supposed to do now?_ You tug lightly on the yoyo and it yanks you upwards and slams your body down on the rooftop. _I think I’ll wait until the fight comes to me._ You spend awhile on that roof practicing with your yoyo. By the time you finish, the sun’s about to set. _I have contributed nothing...but at least the screaming stopped._

You look over the edge of the roof. A black figure is knocked backwards with a blast. _That’s Chat!_ As the other figure prepares a glowing disk, you use your yoyo to pull him up. “Bugaboo! You’re-!”

“Sorry, Ladybug is stuck in another dimension. You should-.” you cut him off. _...find someone to take these._ You bring your hands down from the earrings.

“So you’re gonna help me beat the akuma? Sounds purrilous. You need me to show you the ropes?” _No! Not at all!_

“Yeah.” you reply. _Fuck! Why’d I say that?!_

“Give your yoyo.” You hand it over to him and he slides it open to reveal a screen. “This is your list of abilities.” He swipes right. “And this is how you contact other miraculous users.” 

You take the screen and swipe back to abilities. “Lucky charm...miracu-” Your yoyo lights up and in your hands lies a red and black spotted fishing rod.

“You only have five minutes before you transform back!” Chat tells you.

“Do you know where the akuma is?” you ask. _We’re screwed if he doesn’t!_

“No. M’lady was about to tell me when she…”

_We’re so fucked._ ”...okay. I have a very vague plan.” You hand him the fishing rod and hope he can channel his inner “Hunter 🎣🐟”. “I’m gonna distract him and you’re gonna figure out where the akuma is. I’ll try to get him close to you. I trust your judgment.” And then you jump off the building.

“Hey! Hawkmoth! I have a proposal for you!” The akuma turns and pauses.

“You can’t fool me Ladybug!” he replies.

“I’m not Ladybug. Ladybug appeared on my bed in the middle of the night. I just wanna go home. I’m willing to trade both the black cat and ladybug miraculous for it.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“I’m an unrelated civilian from a dimension without miraculous’. Why wouldn’t you believe me?”

“Alright, drop your yoyo.” You drop it without hesitation. _If everything works out, I’ll be able to go home._

“How do you propose on getting me the black cat miraculous?”

“I told Chat to stay close. He’s on that roof.” You say pointing to the roof you know Chat is hiding on. Once his back is turned you pick up your yoyo and hope for the best. The yoyo wraps around his legs and you yank. The gun the akuma was using goes flying and you tackle him.

“Get off of me!” he shouts. You don’t reply and instead keep grappling with him. His hand grazes the gun when Chat manages to hook it. 

“Cataclysm!” At that word, you spring up and hurry to untangle your yoyo. You don’t have time for the de-evilize speech, so you just swing at the butterfly and hope for the best. The yoyo opens up and catches the akuma. You let the butterfly out and Chat tosses you the fishing rod. It hits you in the head before landing on the ground. 

You wince as you pick it up and say, “Miraculous Ladybug!” The pain vanishes in a swarm of ladybugs. _Why am I still here?_ Chat looks like he’s thinking the same thing.

“You’re about to transform back!” Chat points out as the miraculous beeps.

“Does it really matter? I’m not Ladybug.” you ask.

“Well yeah but-.” The final beep of the earrings interrupts him. He grabs you and brings you to a rooftop. You stand there awkwardly.

“Is something supposed to happen?” you ask. The beeping is annoying but you still don’t transform back. “I think you should go. We’ll meet up at the Eiffel Tower?”

“See you at nine.” he says before leaping away leaving you alone on a rooftop. Your stomach growls. _Time to mooch off of Marinette's parents._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a different (Y/n), but you've probably noticed that by now. (The plot thickens😈) The chapter title will tell you which (Y/n) it is. If it has a sleep related term it's Heureux!(Y/n). If it's a waking interlude, it's Ladybug!(Y/n).
> 
> P.S. Can you tell I only read this over once before posting?


End file.
